Online Divs.

No, that wasn’t an abbreviation of Online Divisions, it was genuinely meant as just ‘Divs’, as that is all you find online.

I am very busy currently, with work, projects, music production and DJ’ing and home life, so haven’t had much time for in-depth gaming, and when I can squeeze a few games of FIFA 22 in, I’ve not been in the right mindset for Career mode, and all the extras that go with it, press conferences, training, developing youths, transfers etc, just needed something accessible, pick up and play, with no investment, so opted to play some Online Divisions (seasons), and what an absolute shithouse it is.

I’m gobsmacked by the sheer level and frequency in which i encounter total morons, imbecilic, braindead, immature, piss poor excuses for human beings, total fun vacuums.
These people just do not play to enjoy themselves, they play to ‘win’ at all costs, and to piss the opponent off as much as possible. This isn’t conjecture, this is solid fact, I’ve played enough Online divisions (OD) games now to see the cold hard facts.

OD is a pure breeding ground for this type of behaviour because:
a) 95% of players are morons
b) EA’s game mechanics allow, even promote this type of behaviour
c) PSG

EA’s love affair with PSG is abysmal, and embarrassing, firstly 16 out of every 20 opponents I face in OD matches choose PSG, and that’s being conservative, Veratti at the Back, and Neymar, Messi and MBappé up top, they are the only players they ever use, and as MBappé is EA’s cover star, he is untouchable, seriously, faster than anything in the game, every single shot is a goal, his dribbling means the ball just sticks to his feet like a nuclear strength magnet, its impossible to defend.
Messi is the same, seemingly he is now superhuman according to EA, faster than everyone except MBappé, stronger than Van Dijk, and again, every single shot is a goal.

You can do everything right, track runs, use manual player switching to cut lanes, don’t sprint, don’t jump in to tackles, its pointless when people just choose PSG, ping a ball from CB to Mbappé or Messi, then score. time after time.

You may say ‘well don’t play it if you don’t enjoy it’, fair comment, but excluding FUT, which I won’t touch,. there isn’t much else on offer if I don’t fancy a deep-dive career mode session, except friendlies, and they get very boring.
The problem is the people playing, more so than the game.

I could post a video library bigger than youtube’s data centre showing examples of the crap that goes on, but here are just a few examples.

The video below shows the ridiculous superman abilities of MBappé, the bullshit refereeing, which is even worse online, blatant red cored not even given as a foul, and then when you do start getting the better of people, they do the predictable….

Excuse the echoey audio, with noises, I had my mic on the PS5 controller recording alongside footage, need to turn that off.

And another example:

EA state on record that online matches are not ‘weighted’ or biased or that there’s no momentum swing, but this clearly proves all that a load of tosh, as so many times this kind of crap happens, I can pepper the opponents goal, and have their keeper make point blank fingertip miracle saves, or miss from 6 yards with a 85+ rated player, or hit the post 3 times in a row, then in the next second, the opponent has scored straight down the middle from 20 yards because my GK has turned into a jibbering wreck. So damn annoying.

I’m not the best online player, I don’t have loads of time to memorise every overpowered ridiculous skill move, or research every single glitch and exploit in the game in order to score soft, unrealistic goals, but i do OK, I can play, and most matches end up like this screenshot below, mostly all against PSG, because, well every single player chooses PSG, and EA love PSG.

I out-possessed, out-shot, out-passed, out-tackled, and out-dribbled the opponent, having 18 shots on goal, to his 8, and he won 3-0, because, PSG.

Anyway, I apologise for the lack of CM content, and realise this is more of a super-rant, but can only comment on what I play.

On another note, I mentioned being busy with music and DJ’ing, I have my own weekly radio show now, the ‘Delicious Disco House Music Show’ Live on INFLUX radio on a wednesday night, 9-11pm
www.influxradio.co.uk or stream live from www.mixcloud.com/live/influxradiouk

I have also been producing my own tracks, and recently had a track I wrote and produced signed by a label, it’s now available on all leading streaming platforms and stores, called ‘Let It Roll’ – a Piano driven, peak time dancefloor house track with a catchy vocal hook.
I’m also a Spotify and Apple Music verified artist now, just a shame TOTP is no more 😉

Apple verified
Spotify verified

If you care to listen to the track at all then the Spotify listen link is here:

83 thoughts on “Online Divs.”

  1. Hey fellas, still lurking and still have some vids, screens and comments to put into a new post which WILL come soon, just every time i make a plan to get round to it, i get busy.

    Got far cry 6 on the go, and still play FIFA daily, for an hour here or there, purely online, which is enough to test any saints patience and frustration levels, it really is a shitfest, but i keep going back to it, purely cause I find the AI matches in career dull and lifeless.

    Got Battlefield 2042 for xmas too, which i haven’t started yet, also fitted a new m.2 SSD into the PS5 to up its storage to 2TB as I was fed up of having to delete games to play others.

    I can promise this time next week, hopefully sooner, there will be anew post of sorts up, a new thread to hopefully trigger some new conversation.


  2. I would love some nettles in the garden Chris99 – I have a buddleia and a few other butterfly and bee friendly shrubs but I’ve never seen nettles for sale. I wondered about simply yanking a few out of the hedgerow but it didn’t seem right. Besides which I assume they are like mint and will quickly take over. Bought myself a new hedge trimmer for what feels like will be the new norm of working here full time.


  3. yep nettles are understandably not for sale in the likes of Dobbies etc Chris – I’ve bought some seeds from Amazon and planted in the greenhouse, awaiting signs of growth. Hoping they might attract the likes of Red Admiral and Tortoiseshell butterflies given that their caterpillars eat nettles

    Paul – good to hear you’re still on FIFA, I do agree that the AI in career mode is disappointing, came up against Liverpool in the Carabao cup last night and they played exactly the same style as Accrington Stanley etc, just that bit better with attackers wriggling past challenges. Surprised I’m still playing it, but I do love developing youth squad players and seeing how they turn out

    Just back from London which is starting to come back to life. Firmly believe we are well past the worst with covid and that life for all of us will be back to normal soon


  4. Can’t wait for the newt episode of Nettlewatch. Can’t believe anyone would actually object to a few being liberated, in fact you can come down to my local riverside walk and clear a few.
    We’ve got a buddleia in the garden but it single handedly fails to attract any sort of wildlife, and instead just makes work for me during the twice yearly severe pruning.
    The plant news in our house is that an orchid that was given to my wife by someone who saw her nurses uniform at the beginning of the pandemic is showing good signs of flowering again this year.
    I think hybrid working is suiting me as I’ve just have the pleasure of watching someone drive off in our road with their coffee cup still on the roof of their car. Absolute classic 🙂


  5. Oops. Next not newt. That’s an entirely different nature discussion (and the basis of a Tommy Cooper joke).


  6. I think there’s more to be unearthed on that person who gives orchids to women in nurse’s uniforms too… I bought myself a cordless hedge trimmer last week. I used to have a corded one which I hadn’t replaced since I cut through the cord. Seemed safer this way and I’ve been out before the birds start thinking about nests. With the neighbours still leaving multiple feeders out I’ve got to minimise rat hidey holes. I’ve never been very good with indoor plants – think our house simply veers too much between cold and tropical when mrs t comes in and turns the heating on.

    Started playing fifa again last night, my Durham miners welfare game. Bloody hell it’s tough in div 2 with a few freebies on world class. Shooting is awful. I think I might be relying on my youth team for players rather than paying 500k+ for a basic 60odd player. Or jumping ship like the snake I am. Now we are down to just one nfl game I’ll have the time to get back to it.


  7. I stopped FIFA 22 a few months ago and hardly ever gone back, EA updated the life out of it, and yes Uncle Turf the shooting is bad, I believe it has to be bad for the online players who like to walk it into the net and never shoot from outside the box. I’d have said 9 out of 10 for FIFA 22 for a month after it came out it was just about a 7 out of 10 a while back, don’t know about now

    I now play eother the best old FIFA game, whch is FIFA 20, or PES. The end of PES was like Tom Brady retiring. But old PES is like a time machine and really something like PES 2012 for exampe feels as fresh to me as the year I played it. In spain I can tell you that PES will never die, also latin america, FIFA is big there, people are just as bad for online, but the sense of PES will never be lost here


  8. Adriano- I never got fifa as they always tinker with it and end up messing it up. Been playing pes2021 contemplating a scottish superleague with clydebank or a fictional world with my made up teams. Magnox fc, northern spirit, portway fleet etc, helps the recovery after covid


  9. Ah PES2012 ten years ago Adriano what a game, the memories are flooding back, rock hard challenge brilliant gameplay and massive player individuality. Several hundred hours. Shimizu, Ettori, Jaric, Ruskin among the defaults/youths. Sense of excitement building that ‘this was the one’ – not-Greg got an advance copy and was emailing us privately – picking up a copy in Sainsburys Meadowbank on release day. Who was that big striker we all had up top, except for Turf who stuck with Ribeiro? That bloody chairman. Playing with 3D glasses on PS3 and my new 3D TV. Hammered literally 10-0 by PES United that one time. Desperate rush to sign regens Kmou and Ranow in first January window to avoid sacking. Sacked at least 15 times. Mastering the beautiful chip shot and R2 shot. What are you playing it on, PC or old console?

    good to see you Werd, and that dreams of scottish superleague are still not dead


  10. abeyhill, that pes2012 year was when I discovered the old blog and that there was an already Adriano commenting on it from brasil, I was most annoyed. I remember not greg giving up on 2012 and coming back to say it was the best ever, i’ve just buscad my entire youtube history (!) to find the pes2012 vid i last watched almost 10 year ago that he posted https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0Hep8-YYiw . I think I had different experience to most on 2012, loved it from the start and until the end of the whole year, don’t remember what strikers others had, I had…. Adriano! Am playing on PC now, still have my ps3 but the loading times are too muc,h and the graphics on PC are so good, so smooth, grab an ISO from somewhere and give it a go!


  11. Abbey- bleeding Shimizu, fast as lighting but the shooting strength old man steptoe. I did win the 2nd division league and Cup against Celtic with him in it. 2012 was my weapon of choice for that notGreg tribute vid Paul compiled yonks ago. Anyone remember? I gave Paul a pink ponytail!


  12. yeah I remember Werd and I also remember there were some very peculiar names in that team of yours! Good video that, Darryl in his pjs with a glass of wine


  13. and thanks for that youtube link Adriano, I was amazed not-Greg’s PES2012 revival video is still there, nice with the PES2 goal highlights music


  14. I,m sure the pink ponytailed paul(good illiteration that) scratches his backside as the players enter the pitch!. Also a fine jig from Frater Darryl.


  15. I think everyone went Sibon did they not? Whilst I turned the lumbering youth team made up Ribeiro into fat Ronaldo. It was the year of the unstoppable corner and height was everything. I recall posting whilst 3-0 up in the Champions League Final, reflecting on it being my last ever 2012 season, and so it proved. It’s the one thing Fifa has never matched in my book – the level of individuality about players. I just knew who was on the ball in PES, they all tend to merge into anonymous brown haired guy in Fifa. They truly slaughtered the goose that was laying those golden eggs in 2014.

    Still, I am racking up a couple of games a day as Durham Miners Welfare. I have a 99 rating as I have gone full youth signings and have plenty of cash, so our mid table mediocrity doesn’t matter. There’s no way I will attempt to take them Lloyd-like up the divisions and will be looking for a new club at the end of the year.


  16. Sibon, that’s the fellow of course Turf. Couldn’t remember his name at all, and google was no help. Surprising how little information is left online about such an iconic PES, maybe most of the communities and message boards have now closed?

    For those who didn’t see not-Greg’s PES snippet on youtube this week before he swiftly deleted, the key points were: i) still loves a 30 yarder with a regen; ii) currently 19 seasons into his PES21 ML; and most remarkably iii) has done a Turf and switched clubs twice in said ML!!


  17. Presume so abbeyhill, what’s that about a PES only lives until the last person who remembers it dies…? I don’t even search for active PES sites now. 19 seasons is good going but on PES 21? I am surprised. I’m not surprised he hasn’t returned to public life but glad the old guy has survived the nhs onslaught. He always said we were one incident away from meltdown.

    I’ve tweaked settings on fifa and whether it’s had a effect I don’t know but I’m back on it full guns. A great league run for the Durham miners saw me starting to apply for jobs. They’ve improved it to some extent in that Fulham, anderlecht, Ajax, et al all said they’d be looking elsewhere. But vitesse arnhem didn’t! So after 3/4 of season one I have a choice to make. It’s a very Werd like club I feel. I’m clearly going to.


  18. He was never all that for me…. Just went onto my youtube account to see about digging out some old classics and one thing I was reminded about the long ranger videos and that’s the absolute lack of pressing in the 2013-17ish period – you could run with the ball virtually unchallenged and then let fly. Their solution seemed to be to nerf the long rangers 2018+ and make the edge of the box trench warfare. Absolute idiots, they used the sledgehammer when it was a simple nut. A long ranger for me in Fifa is outside the box, it’s never changed in it’s pass-pass-pass-pass some more and shoot. Such a loss to the experience. The two camps need their heads banging together to let a true game for all the ages to emerge.

    Fortuna Sittard is challenging – just above relegation, it’s like taking charge of Brentford irl. Outside the transfer window, too many similar players. I’m scrapping for points as I imagine relegation will see me fired.


  19. I won on the last day of the season to finish 14th out of 18, Fortuna were 15th when I joined but the board wanted mid table so I may be out. I think I did ok and deserve a second season. If they disagree watch out for riots on the streets of Sittard.


  20. Hey guys!! Good to see some comments still flying around on here, I’ve just been so busy with work and my music stuff that i havent had chance to post, and with not playing any career, i had nothing to post about.,

    I’m pretty much done with FIFA, I just cant get into career mode, and the online, FUT game is so apalling its bad for your ,mental health, EA have crippled the game so much as we knew they would, patch after patch just embarasses the sport even more, so many ridiculous, overpowered, online-centric things happen hundreds of times every match its beyond a joke..

    All FUT is, is pay to win, the fastest players who can dribble past you and score from 40 yards 5 times a match, there’s no skill involved at all, and as a direct opposite, i cannot now adjust or get into the slow, clumsy, predictable boring AI gameplay of offline modes.

    I reinstalled PES21 on the gaming PC, and have installed the VirtuaRed patch 4.1, in view of doing a real life Newcastle and taking them to the top, but having issues with the stadiums, many of tem are just pitch black, so need to sort that before I start, but will be posting about that when all sorted.

    Have a good weekend, and I’ll try my best to be more present here in comments.


  21. Im still lurking about. Not played fifa 22 at all. Fifa 21 against my mate once a week with a few beers is loads of fun though. Brought Civ 6 just after Christmas and just one more turn!!!!


  22. I got my second season with fortuna and spent the summer wheeling and dealing. Big turnover of players and cruised to the friendly cup. Then won first match 4-0. All looking lovely. Then the ai decided I wasn’t going to get a kick and I lost just as heavily. It’s this which has always angered me about fifa, the feeling of getting so far and then no more on certain difficulty levels. I’m hoping I can break the cycle by knowing when the screw job is coming and holding out for a 0-0 but it frustrates so much.


  23. Who’d have known NG is still playing pes. Somehow some things remain as they should in this insane world.

    Not playing any footy game at the moment. Just bought elden ring, it’s a real solid game if you’re into the dark souls type games. Punishing but very rewarding with a very pleasing aesthetic and atmosphere to it all. Just as “well” I’ve contracted covid and will be home bound this week at least.


  24. Must admit, i didnt see the NG video, good to see the old fella i still playing and enjoying PES, long live the King !!!
    PES21 is easily the best game in the series, and with all the mods on PC its good enough to still be great years after release, the modding community, in lie of that abominable ‘EFootball’ effort, are still rolling out mods and patches with regularity, so PES21 will be around for a while.
    I finally managed to sort all the black stadiums, in the Prem at least, so am geared up ready to start a new ML, so that will be the new weekly focused post on here, be good to get some proper meaningful career mode/ML gaming back into the routine.


  25. good to see you Paul, glad that the music is thriving and excited to see where you get to with PES2021 ML. That’s still next on my footy game to do list, although FIFA21 is having more longevity than expected with Exeter City on the edge of Championship playoffs in season 5

    #1 – I’m very excited about Elden Ring, especially after reading reviews and players’ experiences so far. Started on Dark Souls 3 a couple of weeks back to get into swing of the gameplay and atmosphere etc again. PC version meant to be bad and stuttery though?


  26. Hello all, Been a long time since I have played a football game as I haven’t played any of the last two Fifa games and well PES is no more really. My latest adventure on the focused gaming is ‘The Forgotten City’ which is a remarkable game and just the type of game that I want to play these days. There is no time pressure and you can complete missions at your own pace. Prior to this I played ‘The Outer Worlds’ which was an equally enjoyable experience.

    Hope everyone is well?


  27. Morning Darryl, good to see you fella, is that Forgotten City the time-loop game?
    I’ve seen it got great reviews, but never played it.

    Am hoping to get a new post up later today, first in quite some time.


  28. we are now back to PES 21 as a favoured title are we? – I’ve never played it but it seems that me and Abbeyhill are the only two persisting with Fifa. I completely outplayed Ajax last night which was slightly worrying more than anything, season 2 with a developing team on World Class, doesn’t feel right in the same way that PES 15 or whichever year it was had me scoring 9 goals in a game with one striker. I’ve always felt there are two scripted dice rolls in play in a career – the initial ‘you are going to take till season 3 to be promoted’, ‘you are going to struggle to get out of the division full stop’ and the ‘you will storm it but then get whacked right back down’ possibility, and then the individual ‘you’re not winning this if you play till tomorrow’ chance. Fifa has always seemed to deal me the ‘you’ll do ok but we won’t ever let you actually win the title’. So yes I’ll beat Ajax but that 1-4 mauling by PSV is just a taster. I signed Fabianski on a free in the last hour of the transfer window to try and break the cycle, but goalie stats seem very loose when it comes to how they will actually play. When I stopped and looked at my transfer dealings I was struck by how we used to have that quaint ‘maximum of 4 foreign players’ rule – it’s unthinkable now, imagine trying to build that sort of squad? Imagine if Abbeyhill felt he had to introduce a house rule of home grown players so any success he had wasn’t chalked down to cheque book management…


  29. Abbeyhill; apparently yes…lucky I I went for the ps4 version for now I guess. It runs smoothly at 30 FPS and doesn’t look half bad to my aging eyes. It’s a very solid and fun game, dark souls 3 is a good way to prepare yourself. This is a little more unforgiving in places though with some very steep increases in difficulty all of a sudden. This is also down to the open world nature of the game.

    Just a tip; go for a hybrid or magic oriented class as the magic really is viable and awesome looking this time around.

    Tip 2; the first “proper” boss is one of the hardest ever (you’ll know when you get there). Don’t be reluctant to cheese his ass as you will need every trick in the book.

    As far as pes21 goes; keen to get back into that, but waiting on either the virtuared master League add-on to be done (by a fella name pogchampion if I’m not mistaken) or the evoweb patch to update properly (but that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon?)


  30. thanks for the tips #1, maybe the PS5 version might be a safer bet than PC in terms of performance. Still impressed by how powerful the PS5 is compared to much more expensive PC setups especially with the price of graphics chips these days. On Dark Souls 1 I eventually managed to beat it with an over-levelled sword + fire build, despite never mastering parrying, and like your idea of a magic class for Elden Ring


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